Air conditioning is one of the horsemen of the apocalypse

I am of the school of thought that if you are sick, you don't go to work. However, I have noticed that in this age of redundancy, no guarantees of trainee retention and huge workloads that I am the odd one out. None of my fellow trainees have taken a sick day. In fact one trouping trainee had a car crash recently - not his fault - where he ended up nose down in a ditch with a written off car and he was merely late for work. And apologised for it.

I realise that my sick stats are going to go against me if ever anyone was to look at them. This does not deter me from taking the odd day off if, as I am currently, I am dying of the death lurgy, and these are the reasons why:

1. LAWYERS DO GET SICK.This may surprise some of you. There is no point denying it. Lawyers are human (shock horror) and do succumb to illness from time to time. No amount of deadlines, coffee or denial is going to change this.

2. I do not work well if I'm not well. This is not rocket science, I just don't function at full capacity if I'm clogged with death lurgy. It will undoubtedly take me twice as long to draft a document if my nose is mimicking Niagara falls or am cross eyed from the tiny dwarf in my brain resurfacing my neurons with a sledgehammer. This either costs the client more or makes the department figures look bad. Any work I do manage to complete is not going to be my best and so does not represent my firm well. All in all, bad.

3. It takes at least three times longer to get better without rest. This may not be true of all people but for the majority to recover sleep is a necessity. I spent 16 hours asleep last night, instead of my usual 6. This is not possible in most law firms and in those special city firms who (i have heard rumours) have beds in the office, I don't think that was the point. Now lets do the math: 1 day off or 3 days at half speed........ hmmm the day off has it.

4. Air conditioning is a modern horseman of the apocalypse. If ever the plague was to return in force, air conditioning would be its field general. Every time someone struggles into work with the flu, their germs are sucked up into the air vents and spewed out all over the building. Soon there are sick bods all over the office and the epidemic lasts months. I don't want to add to this self perpetuating problem if I can help it nor do I wish the death lurgy on anyone!

5. When else do you get to watch Jeremy Kyle? Ok this one is a joke. I am only blogging because even though I have to keep stopping as the screen is making me dizzy (another reason I am not at work) the drudge of day time tv is making me worried for my intelligence: 'I'm sleeping with my step-mum and Dad's ok with it' and 'I'm think my kid is a crack dealer'. Seriously, on earlier today. Why would I put myself through it unless I genuinely thought I needed it?

Now I know all this will make you think there is no way I'd be going into the office unless I was better and ready to work but that's where you'd be wrong. Yes, today I did not go to work, but this was mainly due to the dizzy factor (see above) and my need to be in running distance of  porcelain. Tomorrow, when the sleep has done its work I will be returning, death lurgy or not. It has become almost a badge of honour to struggle in with the grim reaper on your shoulder and I am not one to be bested, even if I don't agree in principle.